GPO

The Government Printing Office has decided to go paperless after 150 years of service.

Fortunately, the GPO outsources almost all of the federal government's printing, so we shouldn't have to fire any government employees. Besides, hard copies of the journals and publications we print in-house haven't been needed for over 10 years. Here's why:

  • Nobody actually follows the Code of Federal Regulations until an audit or internal investigation.
  • Public & Private laws change all the time and nobody reads all of them.
  • CSPAN already has a video recording of the Congressional Record and the NSA has recordings of phone calls and private conversations as well.
  • We feel that bulk emailing the Federal Register will increase readership and compliance.
  • Everyone will forget about the United States Code in less than 6 years. Plus, anyone can find it by typing "the code", USC in Google.
  • Why print the United States Statutes at Large when there is a good chance that Congress didn't even read them.
  • The House & Senate Journals are often available online a week before the proceedings actually occur.
  • Passports and Trusted Traveler Cards will be outsourced to a domestic subsidiary of Alaaraji printing.
  • "Squeeks Discovers Type" will be be replaced with our interactive comic book, "Wiki's Web" to help elementary school students expand their knowledge of cyberspace.